Resolutions in the head

 I don't believe in resolutions. But here we are...

Happy New Year, by the way. If you're reading this, you're a thoroughly good egg and I very much approve of you. 

Things I want to do this year: 

1) Buy a guitar and learn to play that guitar. 

I mean, not well. I don't think I'll prove to be a natural. I've been in bands for nearly forty years and along the way I just assumed I'd pick it up by osmosis, but no. It turns out it's hard graft and practice. I don't need to be good - I just need to play "composer's guitar", just a bed of chords, largely in time and in tune, because I want to...

2) Complete the Ebbing House album. 

That's the plan. We have several songs in various stages of repair. I've had ongoing voice issues for months, but hopefully I'll get back to form at some point this year and sing the shit out of these things. Its all killer, no filler. At least, it is in anticipation of doing it. 

3) Build a website. 

Yeah, that seems like the easiest thing in the world to you because you're so modern. To me it's like sculpting the Taj Mahal out of carpet off cuts. Not impossible. But improbable, and annoyingly time consuming. Yet, a one-stop-shop for all things JPH is key in order to...

4) Extend my brand. 

I'm sorry. I don't really know what is involved in extending a brand, but I think its something along the lines of judges on Britain's Got Talent, previously known for blacking up and wearing fat suits in sketch comedy, becoming the most successful children's author in the country, or when a celebrity, not just the one you're thinking of, there are loads, manages to sell hours and hours of television because they now live on a farm, do up a chateau, or go on holiday with their parents. My shed is currently lousy with coils of old rope and I want dollar for them, so I can...

5) Earn some money. 

Money would be good. I wonder what it's like. I mean, it's unlikely to happen. Money seems to be barreling through a waterspout, up instead of down, and nothing suggests that's going to change. And down is definitely where I live. But I do so many things. Surely one of them might be worth some cash. 

6) Get lean. 

Not that lean. Less fat. I was, briefly, seeing results in the gym. The belly wasn't melting away, annoyingly, because obviously that's the only reason I was there. But I was starting to feel stronger and a lot fitter. I got muscle tone. I could lift. My shoulders looked less like those of a librarian. It got so it stopped hurting. Then I developed a cold for two months and stopped going...and now I'm as fat and lazy as ever. More so, as Christmas has made it's annual assault on my waistband. Its just a matter of boring repetition. Like life. 

7) More books. More films. More short stories. 

I'm getting better. I love my work and I shan't stop till I do get buckled.