Skin Job
I got up early to phone my local doctor's surgery. Here's how it works: you can't just make an appointment to see a doctor anymore. You can't show up and sit in the waiting room until someone asks you to come in and remove your trousers. You ring the receptionist at 8.30 in the morning and hope someone will pick up the phone. I sat in my office, my symptoms written out in front of me, plus the word "Vaseline" in case that became important, and on the dot of 8.30, I dialled. An automated message answered, telling me a lot of things I didn't need to know and, eventually, telling me a thing I did need to know: if I wanted to speak to the receptionist I needed to press "5". I did so. There was an engaged tone and, after a short while, the phone went dead. I rang again. Same thing. I rang again. Same thing. I rang again. Same thing. I rang ag…I mean, eventually I rang the surgery 28 times. It took me half an hour. Sometimes, I switched it up and pr...
