Making Nip Nip Happen.
I did Mallory Smart's Textual Healing podcast, and it sounds like the coke-addled ramblings of a lunatic - my sniff is positively percussive - but I had a cold is all. The same cold I have now, even though it was recorded a month ago. I didn't realise QUITE how snotty I sounded. I've got the mucus in me.
At one point it sounds like I'm opening a bottle of Champagne as well. This certainly didn't happen. I play it sober for these professional gigs. Mallory sounds cool and languid throughout, and I sound like I've burst out of the Green Room of a 90's comedy club with a glazed expression and some very dry lips.
Seriously. There is quite often a sniff when I do these things, but this is an insane amount of sudden, mucus-drenched inhalation. It's savage.
Still there's some solid content:
Mallory: "What's the most depressing name?" John: "Er...Curly Innards. No, Ray Sulk."
I slag off Norman Wisdom and John Cleese and big up Tony Hancock and Terry Jones. I'm giving props to George and Weedon Grossmith but not having even a FUCKING bar of Oasis. That's roughly 40% of the interview. Absolute pasteing.
Mallory takes exception to the phrase "spill the beans" because "Who gossips over beans"? Fair enough.
I praise American pimps for their flamboyant style, discourse on the origin of the American accent, the hollow planet theory being like a Kinder egg, and old, men's veiny penises. Mallory introduces the words "lit" and "chuggy", and we both make a spirited defence of the word "cool".
Because you can't abandon cool.
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