Blots in my Copybook

 Yesterday I finished editing a ten year old novel. In those days I couldn't write a legible sentence. These days, I flatter myself I just about can. I laughed many times at my ten year old jokes, and deleted a great many laborious similes that failed, and in-jokes that even I no longer get. It's 280 pages long, but a very light read. And it has a plot and everything - it whips along, like the strangest Bond novel you've ever read. (Has anyone actually read a Bond novel? I read Colonel Sun on holiday in Spain when I was about 11 but that was a Kingsley Amis Bond, and I have no idea how much like Ian Fleming's books it is. I remember it being pretty grim. Bond's genitals always seemed to be in some sort of jeopardy). 

Note: writer's cardigan

The exotic locations are London, Basingstoke, Suffolk and Rochester Castle in Kent. Just like a Bond book. It's set in the early-sixties in England, so everyone smokes and drinks, the food is terrible and nobody is having sex, except one Frenchman in flamboyant trousers. 

I like it very much. I can't imagine anyone will publish it. 

It also features a lot of Greek and Arthurian mythology, because it's still a JPH joint. 

I've also just re-edited a short story for publication in a Canadian magazine next year. The editor is very sensitive in his suggestions - and they are suggestions only - I don't have to change a word. But on the third pass, I elected to remove the entirety of the first thousand words. I like them. There's a lot of good stuff in there. But I think they're not essential. The story-proper starts about a thousand words in, and doesn't let up. If it were a novel, I might let it go. But a short story should be cut back severely. I've sent him back this headless short story. We'll see what he says. 

He may love the old introduction. That, after all, is the story he accepted. He may also have already formatted the magazine. He may have commissioned the illustrator. Also, I'm paid by the word, so I've actually slashed my fee. What a businessman. 

But, artistically, it was the right thing to do. And I've been courageous. 

What have I done? 

 People this stupid should have to wear a helmet.