The Evil Has Landed.

 I might have Covid. Susan might have Covid. She has symptoms, and Susan is never ill. She has an immune system like Wolverine*. I, who am fairly often ill, also have symptoms but they are less worrying than Susan's. I'm a bit sniffly, where she's coughing and wheezing, wrapped in a blanket on the sofa and can only hear out of one ear. She's done three lateral flow tests today and they've all been negative. But for reasons I can't really discuss here, it seems quite likely over the next few days she will start to test positively. And if she does, it's more than likely I will as well. She does a PCR test tomorrow morning. We'll see. 

I mean we've barely left the house in two years, but this week we were going to England for my sister's fiftieth birthday. We were going to the theatre. She was meeting a friend for dinner. We were starting to try and live again, the way everyone else is doing. The government has relaxed everything - no more mask wearing. You can go clubbing, you can queue at the bar, you can do what you fanciful like. The pandemic's over man, we can't go on living like this. We want our FREEDOM. 

And that's the exact moment we get Covid. We're not alone - the Queen has it as well. The most cosseted and contained nonagenarian on the planet, with all the money and all of the doctors you can buy, and she still got Covid the week the rules are scrapped. Doesn't that suggest that maybe it's not quite done and dusted? I know more people with Covid RIGHT NOW than I have for the last two years. 

The bloody Queen has it! What chance do any of the rest of us have? I have to go to the Co Op. I have to be near people who have not been vetted. Very much not vetted. Some of them may not have been house-broken. I have no control over the mouth-breathing, tatted monsters who breathe on me every time I'm buying chicken fillets. 

I really hope I don't have it. And I really hope Susan doesn't have it. So far we've tested negative. But it's early days. Fingers crossed. 

*The Canadian superhero with Adamantium bones. They're not pure Adamantium - just plate. He's the Ratner's superhero. **

**Ratner's was a high street jeweler from the past. The boss, Gerald Ratner, in a light-hearted moment, told the world that all the jewelry he sold was "crap". Amazingly, because it was the 90's and saying things still had consequences then,*** the value of the Ratner group plummeted by £500 million, and Ratner was fired. He later started and online jewelry business called Geraldonline, which I think is quite funny. 

***Nowadays he'd just front it out, or deny he ever said it, or claim it was taken out of context or call it fake news, and nothing would happen. We've come a long way, baby.