Scofflaws, Malcontents and No-goodniks
So I know this this band.
It's not really my band but I am affiliated. I help out. They need a liner note or a bit of P.R. I'll try to sort them out. Maybe a bit of press but, me living in Belfast and they living mostly in London, my efficacy is limited. Nobody wants to do phone interviews and you can forget e-mail or "face-time". Most of them don't have phones. Some of them don't have language skills. I've heard stories about them wandering the aisles at Fleet services gazing jealously at the trays of baked beans, glazed under the strip-lights, utterly unable to muster the bartering skills to make a purchase.
The live band are fit for purpose. Very much so. As a live property they are, in fact, astonishing; snarling, over-driven and savagely effective. They'll pierce your ears without parental consent, like a fun aunt with and ice-cube and a needle. The songs are short and tight like a vintage football kit, and there is a commensurate amount of dribbling. There is a reason I am involved with the band and that is the songs. There is also a reason that I live on a different land-mass, and that is the song-writers: Marty and Johnny.
Marty and Johnny ARE The Charlemagnes: they've been The Charlemagnes since before I was born and, frankly, it doesn't look like they'll last much longer. Neither performs with the band any more: Marty's nephew handles both vocals and guitar now. But they still provide all the songs, many of them re-configured from the songs they have written through their long and ill but never lustrous career.
They have an album coming out in November: "Three Chords and a Half Truth" on Raritan records. It is their first album in the fifty years of their career. It has, frankly, taken a lot of work, a lot of appeasing and general politicking to get this far but the record has been pressed, on heavy vinyl, CD and even download (which you can't say in front of Marty and Johnny as they are not at home to electrickery: noises without wires are a species of magic to them. It makes them restive and they refuse to nap). We're all good to go.
And then Facebook banned their video. The song "Hot for Crime" has been banned for "sensationalising criminal activity" and, no doubt, exciting the loins to sexual ardour. The song, despite being taken from Jean Genet, mentions Double-Diamond, Mumsnet and Manga. Quite how that is going to thrill the young people into mounting the barricades I'm not sure, though its a lovely notion.
They have appealed. After their fashion. Traditionally when they attempt to appeal they repel so we'll see what happens. Any way, here's the offending video. Gird your loins, recidivists:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6vUjfw4tQE&feature=youtu.be
It won't let me link to it. Great. Maybe Youtube have fucked them over as well. The album is out on 2nd November. You can buy it here:
https://raritanrecords.bandcamp.com/album/the-charlemagnes-three-chords-and-a-half-truth
It's not really my band but I am affiliated. I help out. They need a liner note or a bit of P.R. I'll try to sort them out. Maybe a bit of press but, me living in Belfast and they living mostly in London, my efficacy is limited. Nobody wants to do phone interviews and you can forget e-mail or "face-time". Most of them don't have phones. Some of them don't have language skills. I've heard stories about them wandering the aisles at Fleet services gazing jealously at the trays of baked beans, glazed under the strip-lights, utterly unable to muster the bartering skills to make a purchase.
The live band are fit for purpose. Very much so. As a live property they are, in fact, astonishing; snarling, over-driven and savagely effective. They'll pierce your ears without parental consent, like a fun aunt with and ice-cube and a needle. The songs are short and tight like a vintage football kit, and there is a commensurate amount of dribbling. There is a reason I am involved with the band and that is the songs. There is also a reason that I live on a different land-mass, and that is the song-writers: Marty and Johnny.
Marty and Johnny ARE The Charlemagnes: they've been The Charlemagnes since before I was born and, frankly, it doesn't look like they'll last much longer. Neither performs with the band any more: Marty's nephew handles both vocals and guitar now. But they still provide all the songs, many of them re-configured from the songs they have written through their long and ill but never lustrous career.
They have an album coming out in November: "Three Chords and a Half Truth" on Raritan records. It is their first album in the fifty years of their career. It has, frankly, taken a lot of work, a lot of appeasing and general politicking to get this far but the record has been pressed, on heavy vinyl, CD and even download (which you can't say in front of Marty and Johnny as they are not at home to electrickery: noises without wires are a species of magic to them. It makes them restive and they refuse to nap). We're all good to go.
And then Facebook banned their video. The song "Hot for Crime" has been banned for "sensationalising criminal activity" and, no doubt, exciting the loins to sexual ardour. The song, despite being taken from Jean Genet, mentions Double-Diamond, Mumsnet and Manga. Quite how that is going to thrill the young people into mounting the barricades I'm not sure, though its a lovely notion.
They have appealed. After their fashion. Traditionally when they attempt to appeal they repel so we'll see what happens. Any way, here's the offending video. Gird your loins, recidivists:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6vUjfw4tQE&feature=youtu.be
It won't let me link to it. Great. Maybe Youtube have fucked them over as well. The album is out on 2nd November. You can buy it here:
https://raritanrecords.bandcamp.com/album/the-charlemagnes-three-chords-and-a-half-truth
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Hi John Patrick,
ReplyDeleteBrilliant review, really enjoyed reading it. One thing bugged me however- you misspelled the name of Ciaran Bagnall.
Thanks.
Quite right, Interpreter, I have amended. (I think you mean't to write this under a different post but I appreciated the "heads up", to use a hideous expression)
ReplyDelete