Bargain Basement Hunt

 Watching a programme called Shift the Thrift. It's introduced by Stacey out of Gavin and Stacey, and the premise is people going to charity shops and buying things with a hundred pounds that Stacey has given them. It's austerity Bargain Hunt. They're guided by "thrifting experts" who are a neat gay couple in their middle-years. Normally, you'd expect it to be in high-end vintage stores, but these are literally high street charity shops, so you get lots of lovely footage of High Wycombe high street in the pissing rain. One of them gets lost so they pad out a few minutes by huffing and puffing and spinning in circles. The pizzicato violins are in a frenzy at this point. 

I'm assuming later on they'll attempt to resell the tat and the monies earned will go to a charity of their choosing. But they got them from charity shops, so they're attempting to fleece one charity for another. Stacey regurgitates gobbets of information about what Tie Rack and Man at C&A was, which makes me feel old. 

They get a couple of the items upcycled by professionals so they look beautiful, crushing any real jeopardy, and then the online auction is introduced by Stacey, so there's a frisson of celeb magic dust in the auction room too. This could generate a lot of cash. We also get to see faux comments on each item (referred to throughout as "purchases") by the general public, but they're correctly spelled and aren't trolling the participants faces and bodies, so I doubt their provenance. 

They make £350 for Great Ormond Street. 

£350. A half hour of television has generated £350 for charity. Bloody hell. 

This is a portrait of a nation. What's next for BBC's daytime "Vintage and Fix it" strand? Food Bank Challenge? Two teams scour the boxes looking for high-end pasta and undented cans, they can later resell for pennies on line. Soup Kitchen Sou Chef? Respite Care Home Under the Hammer? 

The next programme starts by asking me to "Meet Banjo Beale..." he's an Australian designer living on a cheese farm. He has a beard, glasses and a colourful beanie, and he ruins perfectly good cafes in the Hebrides...

I'm off out. And it's raining too. Good. I need to be cleansed.