A Real Life Nephew Of My Uncle Sam.

 I keep getting rubbish like this on Instagram. Something seems to have changed my algorithm. It's suddenly a lot more right wing and chockful of manosphere content, a lot more Only Fans-lite tit-jigglers and men in suits talking about women stealing your power. I promise my politics have made an aggressive handbrake turn. It's all American, of course. 

America is a strange, strange place. Not just now with that monster stripping it like the Gremlin on the wing in Nightmare at 20, 000 Feet but, like, always. That weird mix of Puritanism, slavery, manifest destiny, wealth 'n' poverty, and religious exceptionalism, and its sheer exhausting size and noise, make it illusory and ungovernable. A nation of depraved prudes constantly punching down, excreting a tinselly too-much superculture and telling the world it's "cool". 

To be fair, we all believed them. For ages. 

Not sure what to make of this. It's a thing where some random page requests you tell it how many points you have accrued during your career as the-boy-in-the-bubble or a walled-in anchorite. To what end, I'm unsure, as I immediately pressed the "I'm not interested in this post" button, but that's clearly not true, is it? Because I'm writing a blog about it. 

This list is pretty baffling, though. What's the impetus to out yourself as someone who has never done anything? This is not presenting a particularly high bar. You don't get points for foiling an attack on Nakatomi Plaza or identifying a new genus of moth. It's just the barest bones of human interaction. I'm sure even the most entrenched and radicalised incel has at least attempted to "flirt", however appallingly. Imagine if you'd never kissed or hugged, like, anyone. No mum or sibling. No one in the pub had ever said, "Mate, bring it in!" I still think people are pretty cool (individually, obviously. En masse they're a real headache. Also, arseache) and I still think seeking out human interaction is a worthwhile pursuit. Some of my best friends are human. No, really. 

I think you should have as few points on this bizarre list as possible. I get 15 points, because question two is a weird, anomalous ringer. Only in America. I've definitely pissed in the sea, though. And the bath, but we'll not go into that. 

Happy 250th birthday, America. You're in a bad way at the moment. I'm sure it'll get better for you. Fingers crossed. I shall be sticking a single feather in my hat today and claiming its a kind of pasta, in tribute to your proper National Anthem. You crazy kids.