Swinging the Lead

 We've been advised the council are digging up the road to replace some lead piping. This means disruption for my street "for at least six weeks". They warn us that, as a consequence, there may be an "excess of lead in our water for a time." Don't worry - there are measures in place. Even though lead is actual-will-kill-you-poison, all we have to do is "run our tap for ten minutes before using the water." I'm not sure if that's for every use, or just drinking water. Just kidding, I won't be drinking any of our poisonous water. I'll be bathing in gin. 

There's also the possibility that in "older houses" - i.e. ours - our electricity might have been earthed using the lead pipes they're looking to remove. Water and electricity? What could go wrong? So, will our house no longer be earthed? Will electricity be running loose through it like an angry toddler with a fork? 

The leaflet tells us neither the Council or the Water Company are in any way liable for anything that might happen, good or bad, presumably, and their workmen know nothing about the work they're doing, so don't bother asking them. 

The letter was pushed through the letterbox today. They start digging up the road on Monday. 

If you need me I'll be lying in front of a bulldozer in my dressing gown. We'll see who rusts first. 

(Jokes on them - I'm already rusted in every joint).