The Second Best Horror of the Year

 The Wink and the Gun was shortlisted for 2021's The Best Horror of the Year Volume 14. This information came from out of the blue - I hadn't entered anything, the story had just been plucked for stardom. I was amazed. I've never been the BEST at anything. I've never won anything outside of a pub quiz, and I wouldn't win one now because I haven't ever heard an Ed Sheeran song and I don't recognise modern celebrities. Duncan Lamont and Googie Withers never crop up.   

Tell a lie, when I was six I came third in a sunflower growing competition. I won a gardening book which I have subsequently lost. And, to be honest, my dad grew that sunflower, I just took the accolades. The headmaster made me come out in front of assembly and hold the book above my head like it was the FA Cup while the other children were obliged to applaud the honour I'd brought to the school. I don't remember being bullied for this afterwards, but I can't see the bullies letting that shit fly. I've probably just repressed it all. 

So, foolishly, I was excited. The best. In the world. The actual best. Why foolishly, John? Doesn't this story work out brilliantly in your favour? Alas no. On this one occasion things haven't gone my way. I was advised that either BHotY would contact me, or my publisher would contact me. In fact no one contacted me. And today the list was published. I was not picked for the team. My cheeks are burning with shame on the subs bench. Once again that strange old man's words come back to haunt me: "You're not a writer. I'm a writer. You're nothing."

I'm nothing. 

What's worse is that the first writer I see on the list is Matthew Holness. I came THIS close to being in a horror anthology with Garth Marenghi!