Assault on Capitol Hill

The President of the United States incited a gang of lunatic, crusty, survivalist fascists - and I'm not sure how that happened, in my day Nazis didn't have beards - to attack Capitol Hill and disrupt an extraordinary joint session to confirm the electoral college results and president-elect Joe Biden's victory. 

And they did. 

They just walked in there and took selfies with the police. Then they ran amok, scrawling store-bought truther bullshit on the walls, putting through windows. They liberated souvenirs, even quite big ones, and a shot was apparently fired...and then they just went home. Nobody stopped them. The next day they went sight-seeing, or did vox pops for the BBC, spouting their incoherent freedom/revolution cut 'n' pace gibberish.  

A woman was shot. Three other people died for undisclosed reasons. But that was it - in gun crazy, rootin' tootin' six gun shootin' America, out of thousands of rioters, protesting against the democracy of the United States, a single person was shot. That's amazing. That's white privilege in action. Black people wouldn't have stepped the gravel without being minced in a hail of hot lead. 

Its genuinely baffling how these Teflon pricks have got away with this, Scott free, after committing a series of obvious crimes, including what appears to be fucking TREASON. Didn't people used to get a blindfolded, handed a cigarette and a sudden high caliber puncture for just this sort of thing?

There were two stars of the riot. Riot stars. The first was a woman called Elizabeth who made a teary announcement to camera (they're not that bothered about Fake Media when they want to get a point across) She'd put her foot inside the door and been instantly maced and it was so unfair as the The Man had ruined her revolution. All she wanted was a nebulous kind of freedom that involved being able to do what she wanted all the time, and Donald Trump was a symbol for that kind of solipsistic, foot stomping selfishness - that was how Donald had lived his entire life - and now they were trying to kick him out on his arse just for losing an election. Well she was not going to stand for it - until she got sprayed in the face and went home crying. 

No fair. 

The defacto king of the raid on democracy was an actor and singer named Q Shaman, or Jake Angeli, to his Only Fans after hours patrons. He appeared looking like the cover of Sebastien Tellier's "Politics" album, in a coyote hat with horns and stripped to the waist to display his Black Sun and Valknut tattoos. Both symbols are associated with right wing Aryan movements, though Jake's herky jerky interview style and the blizzard of bollocks he spouted, were more suggestive of white powder than white power.  He stood around, he shouted through a megaphone, he waved his "Q Anon brought me here" placard, and when he got home he deleted his Twitter account. 

I'm old. I'm not American. I've had sex. I don't understand the myriad permutations of internet bottle-necking that led to Q Shaman. How does he get to be there, regurgitating his undiluted conspiracy nonsense about Pizzagate and adrenochrome and claiming to be able to beat up pedophiles in another dimension? He is the viscous shit-water hot-farted out of a new digital dark age. The world thinks he's a laughable clown. I think he's fucking terrifying. He looks like a bloke in a dressing gown smoking Thai stick with tweezers, but his head is full of the absolute dregs of the internet. Never trust a hippy. 

He was dressed like Jay Kay from Jarimoquai and I made an amusing quip about it on Facebook, only to be informed by a friend that someone else on his timeline had done a similar, inferior joke. He supplied a little photo of the text for proof, which was nice. And while it proved that I'd made my joke first I thought it best to delete it. I wouldn't want people thinking I was nicking internet gags. And I was glad I did because soon every fucker in the world was knocking out dunder-headed Jamiroquai jokes. 

I am very much losing the will to post. "Here is my gallery of inoffensive whimsy, world." "FUCK OFF YOU'RE A CUNT, BYE."

Bye indeed.

By the way, Boris Johnson suggested Trump should get the Nobel Peace Prize. Never forget that.