Slam Dunk The Unc

 Just found out about the word "unc" being used outside the context of hip hop records, which, I will admit, is a pretty "unc" thing to say.

According to Merriam Webster, and unc is so unc it's in the dictionary: "Things that may earn one unc status are standing or sitting accompanied by grunts, using outdated technology, or constantly referencing their generation."

Well, I don't constantly reference my generation, at least. They're an embarrassment to me, frothing pinkly in the audience at Question Time, arms folded over swollen Wetherspoon bellies, seething about brown people they'll never meet in their small, bunting-rich, Hampshire villages. People my age. People who grew up listening to ska. Who attended Rock Against Racism gigs in Finsbury Park, who sneered at Carry On films and thrilled to the "new" "alternative" comedy that would abandon sexism, homophobia and racism. Hooray.

Now, they fucking love those things. People in their mid-fifties are suddenly saying "You can't use any slur nowadays. Not like in the good old days when I was seven and Love Thy Neighbour was on. When I was ten I wasn't into Adam Ant or Imagination, it was Bernard Manning who was my number one."

Anyway, that's a bit of a tangent, my disgust at people my age devolving into reactionary bigots is by the by. For shame. None of that has anything to do with Unc. I don't think people think Uncs are riddled with intolerance. We're just supposed to be a bit old, a bit boring, a bit irrelevant. Still trying to have opinions at our age despite our fatuous thoughts and superannuated ideas. It has exactly the same resonance as "OK Boomer".

At first they came for the Boomers and I said nothing because I was not a Boomer and in fact I joined in because fuck the Boomers.

But now they've come for me.

Unc's not dead.

But knackered.