Not This. Anything But This. Oh Go On, Then.

 A short while ago, at the behest of my publishers - and no, saying that has yet to get old - I recorded a podcast with the redoubtable Mallory Smart. Mallory is a woman of many parts: writer, publisher, she hosts a bi-monthly horror themed podcast - https://thathorrorcast.com/ - and, and this is where I enter the story, a music 'n' literature one called Textual Healing, which is so cool you can actually buy t-shirts from it. My own podcasts feature no merchandise. A marketing oversight. I should be pushing the brand harder. Bad John.  

Here it is: https://textualpodcast.com/

And Mallory and I had a rockin' good time. I think. Because of American Central Time, our little chinwag started at 11.30 pm and lasted a couple of hours, and I recall the talk with the vagueness of a fever dream, snatching after ribbons of conversational gauze like the wisps covering the genitals of renaissance putti. But made of words.  

But I'm sure its all fine. Or I was sure. Mallory likes to name the individual podcasts. In the past she's called them things like Ben Tanzer Will Change Your Life or The Cousins of Horror. Good, solid titles. Handsomely crafted. 

And we want something that's going to reflect the action of the story. The subtitle of the book is "An Oral History", and it's very much a journey around my molars, a trip over my tongue, a field guide to my fillings. You're joining me at the coalface of my cool face. You're right in there as the action is taking place, rinsing and spitting in real time. Mallory, no slouch, took all that on. 

And this is what she came up with. 

I mean, yeah. I can see it. But...

It's fine. 

I expect she knows her business. 

The podcast will be released on Saturday 30th March. At 3.15 A.M precisely, as she's obsessed with The Amityville Horror and that is a level of horror nerdiness I can totally get behind.