Hooked to the Silver Screen.

I'm making a film.

Palpably unready for my close-up, Mr Demille...

Or rather five films. I've written them and I'm directing them too. There is a crew. There is a star. A location. I've put in sandwich orders. I've asked for - and got - a range of poor quality wigs. I've compiled a shots list and prepared marketing bumf. I've painted some masks. I've read "On Film-making: An Introduction to the Art of the Director" by Alexander Mackendrick. 

I'm making a film. 

Bloody hell.