So Very Cold.
Spoke to my mum on the phone finally. She is in hospital and a state of flux - they move her around a lot, they attempt to feed her, give her physio, talk to her, poke her and prod her. Its a lot to take on suddenly, after a year of isolation. I imagine these seasonal hospital visits give her the bends. Never-the-less I was able to talk to her today and she was on good form, all things considered.
I like to have a laugh with her as much as possible. She has a lot going on: boredom, despair, loneliness, these sudden collisions with mortality, so I like to keep it light. It may be for my benefit as well: I'm resisting the quicksand slurp of this grave situation. My moral cowardice keeps me warm at night. But I genuinely think my phone-calls are a sunny window of distraction in her miserable day. So, like I say, I try to keep it light.
Towards the end of the chat she said "I better go - its getting very dark now." "Bloody hell, Mum," I said, "never tell me that from your hospital bed! What next? "I can see a bright light."
"Well I can see a bright light. They just turned it on as it was getting so dark."
We had a laugh. Best timing in the business.
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